Strange deliveries

I meant to post about this yonks ago .......

My teen texted me to say 'you have a parcel... can I open it?'
I replied 'okay if you must'
Teens reply 'already opened it ' (is nothing sacred)
'what is it?' I asked
'A cow!! It has no head ...It is all too weird .. I am going out .. back for tea xxx'

A headless cow!! WT....??

it looks ok to me ..........

or maybe not!!!

My teen said later she thought it was 'like one of those 'anthax type things' people send through the post!!'.... she surely watches too many horror films 

Thank you Daddy Papersurfer... I have finally bought some super glue and Colin is now complete again .... however I am not going to risk stuffing him with money as he may explode ,..... So if you could do me a favour DP, if it is not too much to ask... could you please start saving for my retirement fund dear 'devoted savant'?....

I would like to empty my pedestal and retire early in say about 7 years... that should be enough time to stash away enough to keep me in shoes and other ickle essential luxuries .... (p.s tell Bernard, Colin says hi and not to make him laugh as it could have dire results)

Thank you 

9th, 10th, 11th July 1982

Friday 9th

Sam's 22nd Birthday

Meal at El Patio

Really nice

Saturday 10th

Formby Show

Weather really hot

Went for a drink with brother and girlfriend, Fi & Dand

Went to McDonald's afterwards ( I so remember in the 70s that my cousin in California got a job in McDonalds and we had no idea what McDonalds was!!)

Sunday 11th

Niece & nephew came for the day

On the beach for 3 1/2 hours

Alien on TV = brilliant

World Cup final Italy 3 v West Germany 1

**********************************

This weekend Fi (mentioned above) is coming over tomorrow. She is my second longest standing friend next to 'J' and we are god parents to each others kid.

After all the great weather we have had I thought it would be cool if we explore what is going on at the Manchester International Festival...... but wouldn't you know it ... it is going to be heavy rain and strong wind tomorrow... grrr

Last time the festival was on I saw a most fabulous live performance of the Pianist (from Random Place of Mind blog)... it was breath taking I wonder what we can discover tomorrow.

I hope this works ....taken from an email from one of my bro's ... & I thought farmers were too busy to have fun .... please take a look see

Oh yes I almost forgot ... one of our bloggers is missing have you seen him??

20th & 21st May

Saturday 20 1977
FA Cup Final Liverpool v Manchester United
Liverpool lost 1-2 (poo!)
Bev finished with Dave
He owes me £6.50
Worked from 9.30 - 6.00
Really busy - it was a scorching day

Sunday 21 1977
Sunbathed in garden
Went to Tiffanys
Spoke to Dave he paid me back my money
He is depressed about Bev & he has smashed up his Dads E-Type

(yes it was pink! and the one shown above is a 1974 one up for sale at £49,995!! My word would he have been in trouble back then?)
*********************************

From the diary entries above in 1977 it would seem we were having a heat wave in May.
Today I had to go to Glasgow on business and the weather was glorious. I have been many times to the city and must say today was the most sunniest I have seen it .
I took my camera with me as I always do .. there are a few piccies taken from the train window travelling at high speed over at Twitpics. ( Thank you DP and John C for mentioning naked ladies in the comments it has sent the hits spiralling lol)

I didn't spot this building, my colleague did (I was trying to cross the road without being run over at the time) .. but what a superb building it is!
,


Built in 1938 as a hotel it is now apartments the architecture is awesome
It has been a long old day (up at 5 am) but it made a lovely change to travel North instead of South

oops almost forgot if you need a Kilt then this is the place to go

11th, 12th & 13th May

Wednesday 11 1977
We may be getting a phone through my brothers work (can you imagine not having a phone?)
The 4th Year boys went to Woodvale airfield (obviously they thought us gals wouldn't be interested ... suppose they were right!! No make up and fashion to be had there)
The Red Arrows were there (I get do an 'ah!' feeling when I think of the Red Arrows, I have seen them so many, many times whilst growing up...I certainly am humbled by how skillful these guys are. I so remember the first time I saw the red, white and blue smoke and thought it was magic!)

In 1975 there was a partial eclipse (according to my diary!)

Thursday 12 1977
Watched Top of the Pops
Sketched on school field (it must have been a sunny day as this was rare to be able to go out and have a lesson on the field)
Played rounders after school
My back is hurting (ahh yes .. so young to have a crook back that has plagued me ever since ... gawd 32 years tsk!!)

In 1978 I was taking my German translation exam and it was hard. Afterwards we all went to the pub..... (my Teen had her first GCSE today Religious Education .. she thought part of it was tough.. she came home and got into her PJs and chilled ... my what a difference!!)

Tuesday 13 1982
Played snooker in the snooker club (well what else would you play in a snooker club??)

****************************
I had a lovely drive down to Hereford and back on Monday. The sun shone and only encountered 2 tractors and one very annoying lorry driver who was trying to make me overtake a cement lorry that was going 40mph instead of 50 on single lane windy roads!! So thank you the man from DB Plastics Ltd for making 10 miles of my journey 'interesting' to say the least you wally!! (yes I have decided I will name and shame, I think that driver needs to listen to the soothing music on their website!!)

Oh there was another blip on the journey. I was driving along listening to Radio One, as I said the sun was shining but I noticed just how much roadkill there was I passed... badgers, pheasants, rabbits, foxes, etc .... when suddenly two bunnies appeared at the side of the road frolicking around as they do and one shot out in the road in front of me. I swerved but Thumper got a huge thump from my back wheel..... so sad :(

Driving back from a shopping trip in Warrington this evening Teen flicked through the radio stations to Key 103 and we came across this ... 'DP's Happy Hour' .... surely this is an oxymoronic statement of the man himself does he have a happy hour??? Answers on a postcard pwwwease!! lol

On an even lighter note... somethings just make you laugh out loud in public and this card did it for me this evening whilst in the supermarket ... superb (as I am having a busy old full on week)

1st & 2nd October 1979

Monday 1
Good day at college
Only in for 3 hours
Went to night school = ok
Fi came round this afternoon
Phoned Sam
He was in a better mood than last night
Just as well (that's my girl lol )

Tuesday 2
Fi's 18th
College at 10.00
Went boozing for Fi's birthday = a bit tiddly
Went back to hers
Chris gave me a lift home
Had a long chat with him about him and Fi
Mar etc had gone to my Aunties in Halewood
Put phone down on Sam
Tired of his attitude (oops that good mood didn't last long ..)


Tonight on the One Show they did a little piece on 1977. The time of the Queens Silver Jubilee and Virginia Wade won Wimbledon... humpf they never mentioned that I went to Wimbledon that year. I can't believe they never included that piece of memorabilia.

The crux of the piece revolved around this girl. One of the most famous posters ever.
I so remember it being everywhere you turned back then ... and in the 30 years that have passed it is still popular.
It has always been a mystery as to who the model was ... it was the photographer's (Martin Elliot) girlfriend at the time, they borrowed some equipment and she couldn't even play tennis He was still not for revealing her name when asked today.

If you want a poster of the tennis-girl it will cost you £300 today ... wow!!! I bet there are few chaps kicking themselves that they didn't look after their icon better!

I am sure Daddy Papersurfer will do a similar pose for a lot less ......
I could knit him a tennis dress
see I can be very very nice :-)

30th September 1979

Little girl ~ do ya wanna play ABC with me?
Little boy ~ no I don't think I can I am so excited I think I have wet myself what with my mother dressing me up in girls knee high socks and Dorothy shoes and all!
Sunday 30
Phoned work but they didn't need me (oh I yearn for that to be said to me these days!!)
Went to Blackpool for the day

Had a really good laugh
Spent loads of money on rubbish (glad to see I haven't changed much hee hee ) Sam phoned at 10.45 pm
He was in a lovely mood .. honest!! (a hint of sarcasm perhaps?)


I was giggling when I read my e mails tonight on return home from work. There was an e mail from Sam. He has been reading the blog ... so DP be on your best behaviour...

On the 22nd September I copied from my diary
Sam up for 2 days
Worked 10.15 to 5.25
Sam arrived at 11.45
At 5.15 he arrived at the cafe pissed.
He had been to Stan's dads wedding booze up.
He was sick 100x (*snigger*... serves him right )
Went to Southport at 10.25
Home at 11.30 (I guess he was feeling pretty rough then? lol)

Sam's response in the e mail today (& I am sure he won't mind me quoting him)

"Did remember the being ill escapades after Stans dads wedding, you had cooked a pasta meal which you made me eat and then insisted we went out despite me wanting to die, I have never touched vodka since !" hee hee

The other thing that cheered my day I had an e mail from lovely Nurse Myra to say she had posted me something from Australia following a comment I had made on tNb's blog.... & on my dining room table (when I got home) was a big padded envelope from Australia..... containing a book that David Sedaris wrote.... I am going to save this for when I am an one armed bandit to read I will need a few cuckles then ... thank you nursie always knows best :)

13th & 14th September 1979

Thursday 13
College at 9.00 am
Art Center for dinner
Usual boring day
Sam phoned at 11.00 pm
He'd been playing darts at the Woolpack

Friday 14
Go to Stafford on the 5.05 pm train
Got there at 6.05
Sam and his mum came to pick me up from the station
Rowed with Sam (oh my I had only just got there)
Went to the 'Garfield' (must be a pub?) and the 'Lodge' (probably another pub) Had a long talk (yes I think we needed to)

Well I am having a bit of a miserable time just now as my back is so much in pain..... work have been ok but some think I am swinging the lead.
I am in a new work environment and they have not witnessed my 'back flare ups' before.
My old team have lived through this with me over the past 15 years ... with my last really bad one in 2005 when I was off work for 12 weeks (I bent down to feed the cats and that was that!) ... came back to the work face and was on light duties for another 12 weeks, there then followed a cat scan, a really bloody painful steroid epidural injection in my spine...(ooo I don't want one of those again I can tell you) and intensive physio.

Having a dodgy disc means it can 'pop' when you are doing something totally inane .. and this was no exception .... apparently it is degenerative so deep joy it will only get worse as the years pile on (hey I thought it was bad when I was in my teens !! well it probably was! so each one is dealt with in turn).. hey ho c'est la vie!!

What has cheered me this time though is (apart from my new found portable Tens machine and strong wacky enhancing painkillers!) the kindness I have received from blogsphere. Personal messages through fuel and e mails.
I must say I was so touched by Scratch Bag who posted a lovely knitting pattern for me (I wonder where she found it & DP here it is just for you to enjoy *snigger*)... Thank you, it is so kind of you :-)

Have you seen Daddy P's blog today? He has wheeled out an old friend. It kinda shows you the softer side of him. I for one am a little sacred by this ...........
However, it got me to thinking about dear old 'Snowy' who has accompanied me through out my life. He is a bit camera shy .. and will remain so just for now .... but you never know he maybe pursuaded to show himself, stitches an all???

12th September 1979

you'd have thought she would have combed her hair??

Wednesday 12
Tech at 11.00
I am still in shock after the crash last night
Business Studies was cancelled (2nd day back and lectures cancelled already ... tsk!!)
Came home at 3.15
Phoned Sam
He says we need to sort out our relationship (oops!!)

Today FMB have introduced a 'Friday 5'... an interesting concept and could prove amusing.
It involves answering 5 questions .... I suspect a different 5 every week
This weeks are ....

1. What is your best joke?
2. If you were a character in the Muppet Show which one would you be?
3. Do you brush your teeth before bed?
4. Would you employ Daddy Papersurfer?
5. When was (if applicable) the last time you lied about your age?

so here we go.....

1. Best joke ??
Now I am absolutely so rubbish at remembering jokes ... but I do have one ...
A polar bear goes into a bar and says to the barman ' can I have.....................
........................... .......................... ..................................... ...............................
a glass of............................. ............................. ...................................... ...........
beer?
The barman replies 'of course ... but why the big pause ?'
Polar bear 'ahem I am a polar bear !!!'


pause/paws??? oh ok !!

2. mmm? which muppet character??
I know many may say 'Miss Piggy' maybe they are right ?
I had the pleasure of going on an exchange and met a Swede who did the most awesome Swedish Chef impression (as he could as he was Swedish),

I also work with Staler & Waldorf.... so I must conclude my life is like being a Jim Henson invention!

3. Do I brush my teeth before bed?
Of course I do ..... It was drummed and drummed in again into me from an early age


4. This is the tricky Q!! Would you employ DP?
Of course I would! Now but as what though? I would ask..... as a man who can transform rubble into a home .. then yes! as a man who can draw and make artistic statuey things? .. then yes! as a man who can go out and shop independently? erm No but as they say 2 outta 3 ain't bad .. but I would require good independent references........ oh and full 45 interview ... and .. and .....

5. Last time I lied about my age?
Well funnily enough it was last week. I was filling in an online survey that asked my age bracket. The 'just' age bracket I am in took me into an oldy bracket so I lied and said I was a year younger to keep me (just) in the 30 somethings bracket not in the almost 50 something bracket!! It is a vital time I am in just now!!

30th June 1979

Saturday 30
Worked 10.00 - 6.30 = quite busy in the afternoon
Sam at Oulton Park
he didn't come here tonight
Phoned him at 7.00
He phoned me at 11.00 from the Gayton Hotel
Stan phoned chatted with him for 1/2 hour

Well what do you reckon to tonights knitting pattern??? It takes a 'real' man to wear a canary yellow pullover hee hee

As you may have read (or may not have read, suppose it depends on how avid a 70s fan you are??) Annie & I went on a ghost hunt on Friday. We didn't see anything but I certainly felt the changes in temperature in the different rooms. However, we were oblivious to this flurry of activity around us ..... make of it what you will .......eeeeeek lol ;-)

These pictures are courtesy of Salford City Council Forum page

These are a few of my photos ... there are some orbs or was that just the flash ;-)





OMG what is that????........... phew it is only DP messing about as per usual!!

Interlude ~~~ 'Fantasy or Fact?' ~~~~ Fanzine V

Welcome to Fanzine V....

(wow 5 already! How time flies when you are having.......... fun, I suppose!)

You may have read recently on 'the phenomenon that is DP', that he has allegedly been stalked by his idol Uma Thurman.

I am totally bewildered by this revelation, as I suspect you are too dear readers. Uma stalking DP?? Surely it has always been the reverse?

If this fact is true (& pretty disturbing it would be too), then I feel it only right to point out that he only has himself to blame.

Some of you may not know this fact & I feel as Ed to the Fanzine I have responsibility to pass on all the facts as I receive them.

Many moons ago he set up a cupboard on FuelMyBlog where his quest was to achieve the 'longest thread' once he had found it as he had lost it (something I know you may have already realised!)

During the initial stages of this 'great adventure' he established a secret laboratory, where he was conjuring up some sort of formula.

The formula was to make Uma notice him. Then they would run away together etc etc ........We all thought at the time it was doomed to failure, so we merely humoured him during this quest. Dabbing his fevered brow along the way when required.

I managed to hook up a secret web cam & 70s managed to get some rare stills footage of him in there.


(These images may be disturbing to some readers!)

If his recent experience is to be believed then maybe the GOG is not quite as deranged as we first thought?? & we did see Uma with a DP fanclub handbag recently at the Oscars this year!!!!! So may be, just may be, this is FACT not Fantasy???


He has been back in the laboratory, staying up late (past 21.00 hours) trying to undo this formula.
Unfortunately the web cam is not working properly (there was a slight incident with a bunsen burner which damaged the camera not to mention DP's nostril hair!).

All was not lost, dear readers. DP's lovely secretary was passing the door on her way to having her nails done. She heard the following ghostly words & reported them immediately (she was a bit shaken by this experience and is thinking about her position)..............

DP speaking ~ 'Eye of bass, toe of toad, a little curly hair [ginger], 2oz of sugar and a grated turnip' - a perfect recipe for a fun fuelled night out with 70's. Perhaps I'm a whorelock warlock and it is you that should be affeared!!!!!
[OK, that won't work - back to the drawing board.]'

Again dear Readers is this FACT or FANTASY ?


The mail sacks have been bulging at the seams these past few weeks. Obviously the fame of DP is spreading world wide at a fair rate of knots. Inevitably with such fame comes the begging letters (mostly begging him to take a long vacation where no safety net is available!); the love letters (eeeew... dear readers you really don't want the details) & the amount of underwear that is piling up, I could start my own shop!

I have chosen 2 letters from the bulging sacks, for this Fanzine. I felt that you as his fan club members should have a chance to read both simultaneously to enable you to draw your own conclusions as to their validity! FACT or FANTASY?
I am sure TG will have something to say about them too!

Dear Ms 70's

Sorry, this is a bit embarrassing.

I think that I met Daddy Papersurfer in Ibiza about 35 years ago. It's all a bit vague, what with the sangria and all.

Anyway - I was a lot younger and so was ....... he!
He used to be so good looking in them days. What a fine set of teeth.

I don't know how to say this ........but ....... well, there's a strong possibility that ...... gawd ........no I can't.
I thought I could but even as the sands of time have passed I still can't bring myself to tell the world.

No, forget I said anything ........ really, please!
Must dash (whoosh), all the grand children are staying
[all 12 of 'em - bless every one of 'em - each of the triplets had 4 each, can you believe it!]

I have attached a photo of my children when they were babies. I carry this around in my rucksack every day so it is showing signs of wear. But I hope you can see just how lovely they are?

Regards Milly

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Dear Fanzine Ed
I came across your most wonderful fanzine whilst looking for fan dancing lessons on the interweave.
Since then I have never looked back...... yes I am looking forward with some degree of excitement (which is a bit unfortunate at times as my pelvic floor ain't what it used to be!)
For many years now I have been trying to find members of my family and this is my sad tale.

I got lost on a family trip to the circus over 50 years ago. No one came to claim me so the lovely circus folk brought me up as their own.
I was taught to swallow swords, eat fire (unfortunately this lead to my big smoking habit) and to balance cardboard boxes on my head.

I have had a happy(ish) life despite not knowing what happened to my family.
I married young to a travelling sales man. He used to fondly call me his 'terrible fag ash'.

3 years ago he ran off with the bearded lady from a Romanian circus troop that joined us for our Summer season in Clacton.
I am ok about it now. I fill my time well. Recently I have taken up metal work and can make amazing things from lead (it is getting more difficult as I get older to climb on church roof's to pinch it). I recently had a couple of my pieces of work shown at a carnival in France.
It is just something I have always wanted to do from being a child.

Back to my family search. I know I had two brothers... twins in fact.
I believe that one of my brothers went to live in the land of maple syrup (as we circus folk fondly refer to Canada as).
A friend of mine (Frank the one armed lion tamer. It was a terrible accident. The lion wasn't very well for weeks after) found these images on the interweave. I can see my father's eyes and my mothers moustache in this photo.

Sadly, despite all my letters, Maplesurfer has never replied.

I am almost 100% certain that Daddy Papersurfer & Maple Surfer are my brothers.
Please, please, please publish my letter.... I am hoping above all hope that one or both of them will read this and get in touch.
Attached is a recent photo of me with out my cardboard box. Can anyone see a family resemblance at all?

Thunking you in anticipation

Gertrude Poppersufferer
(address with held by Ed.)

So what you you think dear readers??
FACT or FANTASY ?????

Interlude ... Fanzine Frenzy

DP's fanclub !!!!!!! A strange phenomenon...............???

Ms D. Ranged has started this exclusive club for goddesses and in fact I do believe non goddesses can also apply (the exclusivity is slipping already). I have noted the badge displayed on such sites. I guess though there are always exceptions!!

I do feel it as my duty just to bring to the publics awareness some facts about DP. You should have some facts before committing yourself to such a life time membership.........

Yes he did survive the Titanic you may have seen him scrabbling around in the water. During the filming with all the sinking panic on board, DP lost his teeth, they had fallen into Kate's cleavage . Faced with a spluttering, dribbling flat capped maniac, pawing at her chest, her reaction some may say was over the top but I can fully understand the panic that came over her. With a quick jab of her elbow, combined with the wet deck (all that spluttering) DP was hurled over the edge of the Titanic. He was later fished out the water by a passing Ukranian fishing boat..........

This is a very rare photo of the absolute power behind the blog Lo Terrible Goddess (TG)
.

As with all folk who gain world wide recognition, it is inevitable there will be some scandal along the way. I do think it would be unfair for me to drag up the details surrounding his appearance in the news headlines.
(something about a rolled up newspaper, raincoat, garden gnome and a pack of Lurpak butter?)

He has put this behind him now a days and has been seen promoting some top magazines
In aid of the Ukranian fishermen that lovingly brought him back from the brink after the Titanic

He did actually think this was going to be a malt whiskey magazine (have you ever seen him drink malt???)
I have it on good authority that no body double was necessary (no wonder the Ukranian fishermen 'lovingly' looked after him)

I hope these bits of extra info help you to sign up with the DP Fanclub