Welcome back to the long awaited Fanzine ...
& Happy Daddy Papersurfer DAY !!!!!
I can only apologise on behalf of my IS provider Sir Branston Pickle for this huge 'hump' in publishing anything....... Fanzine Editor has had both hands tied behind her back and struggles daily (Harry Houdini would be proud as would Nurse Myra ;-) ) to publish the simplest of posts.
However, not being one to dwell on the negatives of life..... here is Fanzine IX (9)
A quick reminder of past issues of the Fanzine for your perusal....
Issue 8 November 2008 ~ DP has a significant event
Issue 7 June 2008 ~ an insight into DPs life
Issue 6 May 2008 ~ the Papersurfer family tree
Issue 5 April 2008 ~ the secret laboratory & long lost family members
Issue 4 April 2008 ~ Official DP day & celebration memorabilia
Issue 3 March 2008 ~ the Oscars & Gertrude
Issue 2 March 2008 ~ DP runs for Presidency
Issue 1 February 2008 ~ Introducing the phenomenon that is Daddy Papersurfer
As editor of your favorite Fanzine I do have a responsibility to find out just what the 'phenomenon that is Daddy Papersurfer' has been up to.
Last year to escape the heat of the papersurferazzi he took refuge in Surfugal.....this time he has tried to avoid the publicity (& escape the secure gated community) by moving to a remote cliff top residence somewhere in a secret location on the South Coast of England.
It didn't take me long to track him down though ... Phyllis from his previous local woolshop was very helpful indeed, after I had the inspiration to tempt her to loosen her tongue by offering her some jellied eels and liquor.
I followed her directions and stumbled across the man himself. I managed to capture this photo whilst lurking in the hedgerow ( DP will you cut down that bloody Hawthorn bush I am still picking out the thorns)
Surely he is not doing domestic chores readers & 'WHAT IS HE WEARING'?
However, I suppose it is a slight improvement on some of his past wardrobe choices
or this when he stole the lovely Sylvie's identity!!!
Whilst surfing the 'safety net' last week I came across a reference for
I'd never heard of Joke 90? Intrigued I had to investigate as it surely had DP's DNA all over it ... I paid my money and today I received an annual through the post.
It looks a bit 'doctored' but what does one expect when paying only 99p for a vintage 70s annual?
Inside it indeed has information about DP and a chap that guides him .. I wonder who Ian really is? .. could it be John C, GitWizard, Kevin or is it Dear Frac in disguise.. maybe it is Diane as there is a reference to Dorset?? (fantabulously great disguises gals if it is either of you)
DP has become a man of letters of late. I suppose this is symptomatic of being a little more mature in dog years.. your Fanzine editor has letters formulated in her head about things that upset/bug her (I have a great one for Sir Branston Pickle) but she still prefers the verbal explanations to date ... just give me time... there is a lot... ok there is a little you can learn from his rants
For those of you who have missed out on the marvellous ramblings contained in DPs letters.....the links are here
day 1...Dear Old Lady
day 2...Dear Young Man
day 3...Dear Young Mum
day 4...Dear Local Council
day 5...Dear Car Park Attendant,
day 6.....very silent!!! mmmm yes DP can't count... & yes fanzine readers you heard it here first !!!!!
day 7..Dear Market Stall holder
day 8...Dear Boy Scout
day 9...Dear Packaging Companies
Day 10 ... Dear 10 items or less Cashier
In response to DPs letters and the fact he is who he is, the Fanzine office floor has been stacked with mail, these past few months.
I even found this poor lost soul hidden beneath the weight of mail ...
She had posted herself over from across the pond in the hope to meet the phenomenon. She looked very pale and her cups were flat when I dragged her out ... but after a beer and a chocolate brownie she soon perked up.
I am not entirely convinced that DP hasn't sent a few of these letters himself because of his recent furtive flurryings with his quill.....time will tell but to date I have not had time to wade through the bulk.
Fanzine Letter Page[If your letter doesn't appear here please feel free to publish them in the comments section of the Fanzine or send them freepost to me so I can feature them in the next exciting edition]
Dear Fanzine Ed
Long ago I managed to unearth the identity of Daddypapersurfer, through no fault of his.
That was some time after I had gone through a number of situations in which the 'Ol Git' had been there for me. Bearing his sage words with total lack of knowing what he meant, he always knew what to say to create a feeling of empathic caring.
If there would be one thing that someone could teach me that would be the strongest tool in my life in dealing with other people, it would be his wisdom.
Since wisdom can't be taught, I guess I'm stuck with reading the guy's stuff. It's either that or go cannibal chopping him into cutlets for dinner.
He's really the only person I know online I would ever aspire to be more like in certain qualities I want to develop more in myself.
...should a chocolate covered DP be sprinkled with confectionary sugar...or cinnamon?
Love D.E. Ranged
Love D.E. Ranged
WB to the Fanzine. I do declare it was your vision that actually sparked off this wonderful Fanzine ... way back here in Fanzine I.
Us fans of DP (scattered widely across the globe) thank you from the bottom of our ... bottoms ;-)
DP really is an ..... ermm?? what is the word??? oh yes an example to all of us.
Where would we all be now without his daily Old Git words of wisdom and flimflam? .... lying on a sandy beach in the Bahamas perhaps or drinking fruity cocktails on a balcony soaking up the warm Mediterranean sun or sat at our PC's wondering what was missing?
oh in answer to your culinary question... anything that is chocolate covered just yells for both icing sugar & cinnamon ... oh and topped with hundreds and thousands
Love from your Fanzine Ed x
Dear Fanzine Ed
I intend to keep this short and sweat (strike through sweat) - sweet.
I have been a fan for many weeks now. I have been following evereee steps and movements (mainly wind) Daddy P has made since he set his first steps in the blogosphere. watching his progress slowly and cringing many times along the way.
I think I deserve his daily attention - slaughter...(strike through attention)
I will forgive his allusions to Uma...he will soon grow tired of her (she is not even using Twitter)- she is NO contender...
He has been the prey of many highly influential bloggers but I know deep down that I will be the one he will run away with on Technorati ... has to be...I should know...I am a highly influential Uma look alike (in a streched way) with almost perrrrfect English.
If you know who I am - please keep quiet for as long as you can ... he has no IDEAS and that is better that way. sincerely a seriously deluded yet commited follower/ lover on twatter ( euh I mean T-witter)
Your English is fabulous don't let the fact English isn't your first language put you off influencing the fact we realise here at the Fanzine, you are one ardent fan of the 'phenomenon that is DP'.
As Fanzine Ed I am bitterly disappointed at the lack of response from Uma. She has had a high profile on this 'fab mag' and have we had a hint of twatter? (strike through... and replace with Twitter) no we haven't!
Stay steadfast dear shuuush I am sure it won't be long before he scoops you up and carries you off into his cupboard telling you tales of his adventures of Technotari and the wonders it can bring ...
Love Fanzine Ed x
Oi you ... yes you Mr Phenomenonamon!!
I know where you live Guv
The Market Stall Holder
Dear Market Stall Holder
That is so ticketty boo that you know where Daddy Papersurfer lives.
I am with out doubt sure he would love you to pop along to his residence and have a laugh or two over the jolly japes you both shared recently.
Indeed I do believe that he would make you a lovely cup of afternoon tea and bake a few scones which you could enjoy in his English Country garden.
If you do have any trouble locating the exclusive residence please don't hesitate in contacting me.... oh when you do get there do watch out for the Hawthorn bush
signed Fanzine Ed
Dearest dearest daddy pee pee poopoo
Why are you not answering my letters, texts, e mails, phone calls?
I have even changed my name by deed poll in the hope you will respond.
You know you can't deny me for ever.
Love and kissy poo poo chuckles xxxxxxx
Uma T Hurman
(formerly known as Arthur Smith, lorry driver from Dagenham)
Dear Arthur ... sorry Uma
I can only apologise as some of your letters may well be in the huge pile on the office floor. Uma I hate to break the news to you and there is no easy way to tell you this but ........................ DP is 'taken' and has been for many years.
I know just now your heart will be breaking but you will find some one who is equally inspiring to you ... someone else that can fill your head endlessly full of drivel and diatribe ... who will tra la la and #tee hee....but only if you just give it some time.
If, however, the pain does not subside in 24 hours I have his address and you can share a nice cup of tea with him and the market stall holder whilst sitting on the cliff edge admiring the view of France (on a clear day)
yours Fanzine Ed
Fanzine free gift for DP DAY ... yes Fanzine readers it is free.
Using the power of ScissorShop developed by the man himself you can wear with pride your Daddy Papersurfer badge ... just follow the simple instructions below
Step 5 ... now you have a sparkling button badge to impress your friends with. We have seen examples at the Oscars as worn by the stars of stage and screen.
Now you to can wear that very same badge with pride.
Expect to be stopped in the street and asked 'where have you have acquired such an amazing product?' ........... just point them over to DPs Fanzine ;-)
Fanzine X (10) due out ... 'when ever' ;-)