Monday, 23 June 2008

Interlude ~ Fanzine Frenzy VII

Welcome to Fanzine Frenzy VII
(or 7 for those who don't 'do' Roman numerals)-
again a month has passed since the last 'exciting' publication!

In May I reported my findings following my extensive research of the 'Papersurfer' family tree.
I know it took a while for the phenomenon that is DP, to take in all the inconclusive conclusive evidence (he is a bit s-l-o-w. But that is to be expected of a pea brain at his age!)

As Fanzine Ed I genuinely feel that it is my duty to give you, DP's most deranged adoring mad loyal fans as much exciting insights into his life that I can make up find hard facts about.

Earlier this month DP published on his own blog, his CV dating back into the dim and distant past. What a scoop for a Fanzine Ed!!! So much to work on.

'1953 –1959 Attended a quite well known public [US private ] prep school.'

I managed to get this photo from the school's yearbook 1956, it was a bit musty and dog-eared when it arrived but I think you will agree dear readers it is.......... ?? Yes I too am lost for words!! (gosh he but doesn't he bear a striking resemblance to some one???)

So when DP started prep school in 1953, Britain was on the tale end of food rationing following WW2 and Queen Elizabeth II was crowned Queen of England (oh and my Mum & Dad got married that year too)

By the time he left in 1959 these guys had just made their last film
This epic was released which swiped up all the awards that year
and other films included 39 Steps; Pillow Talk; North by Northwest; Sleeping Beauty (Disney); Some Like it Hot and Room at the Top.
I wonder if this film had any influence on profession DP hooked up to later??

'1959 – 1967 Attended a public [US private] school you’ve never heard of, having won a scholarship.'
'1967 – 1971 Drunk student at Art College.'

I can find no information about his teen school years... all the school would say was that there was an unfortunate accident involving bunsen burners and DP... & that the school was raised to the ground at this time. The school had no proof it was actually him that was directly involved!! mmm?? This picture taken in later life may hold a clue??

& the Art College simply said 'No Comment!'

However, this was the 'swinging 60s' and London was the hip place to be and be seen in.
I had few leads already but with a couple of carefully placed classified ads in Exchange & Mart, I received some class photos of DP 'being seen' out and about in the 60s.

With Catherine Deneuve (before she got the restraining order)
Isn't that Barbara Streisand??

His first taste of being surrounded by goddess's .. it earned him catch phrase 'I likey!'... but 'crikey' I think he has a touch of wind though ... he is dancing like Cliff Richard!

During this time (and in the nick of time) he met the lovely TG and he never looked back (great job TG using the 'shin kick control technique'!)

'1971 – 1972 Drunk student at post graduate teaching course. 1972 – 1973 Drunk lecturer at the University of London. 1973 – 1975 Drunk archivist at the Royal Academy.'

Thank goodness I live up Norff.... or he could have ended up teaching me! Wow dear readers could you imagine that????

But during this time he did manage (somehow) to developed his art though a haze... some have called this his 'Liquidity Period'

All true artists, whether they know it or not, create from a place of no-mind, from inner stillness.... but this was not the case with DP!
::: Eckhart Tolle
I've never believed in God, but I believe in DP
::: Diego Rivera
The holy grail is to spend less time making the picture than it tak es people to look at it.... & DP mastered this
::: Banksy
Painting is so poetic, while sculpture is more logical and scientific and makes you worry about gravity..... and the price of lead off the church roof which was DPs source
::: Damien Hirst

Some even chose to paint the ma
n himself!

'1975 – 1977 Sober while driving a drunk builder around SE London.'

During this time whilst his employer was, shall we say 'the worst for wear!' DP managed to renovated his Oast House, bought a yacht and sailed into various sunsets....our DP was never one to miss an opportunity, he even brought in child labour to help achieve his goals!
(Fanzine Ed note: Tsk DP!)

'1977 – 2008 Sabbatical.'

Ah the 'Sabbatical' as he may call it. Is 30 years called a sabbatical??
You may think he was being idle sitting staring out to sea or

meditating whilst contemplating his navel (Sylvie... yes I know whilst wearing sandals too, thankfully no socks though!!)

But you know readers he has actually tried his hand at many things. Maybe they weren't always permanent employ... some seasonal, others less seasonal.
I posted an ad on the safety net to find out more........

'Information urgently required!
Have you ever employed this man?
The p
eriod I am interested in is between 1977 to date.
He goes by the name of Daddy Papersurfer.
He is incredibly grumpy at times and does tend to dribble.
Has a passion for llamas and loves children but could not eat a whole one. Please e mail 70steen (at) gmail (dot)com

Your replies will be dealt with in the strictest confidence

Kind regards


Well the reponse was under overwhelming!

Brighton District Council.... Dear 70steen, we employed DP during the summer season 1979. When I say 'summer season' it was in fact for only two days. There were many complaints from parents that their children were scared of (or was that scarred from) the new clown we had hired, due to the spray he exhumed whilst talking to the little ones... oh and that 'tsking' noise he made was a worry and I am afraid we had to let him go. I do hope he went on to find gainful employment as he did make a great cup of tea. Hope this helps?'

'London City Council - DP came to us with good references so we employed him as a Yeomon of the Guard. He seemed an amiable chap but we did however, notice that after a couple of days the ravens were disappearing from the Tower of London. As you may know, that if the ravens leave the tower, the tower and the monarchy will crumble. I don't think he was an anarchist but for England's security we had to let him go. You will be relieved to know the ravens soon returned unlike his security pass... if you are in contact with him could you please ask him to return it'

Now this one came with NO script... just on an e mail which I was about to delete as spam... sender was 'I have 2 feet, where is my other flip flop?'

I will leave it to you dear readers what occupation this may have been??

There are many more in my mail box but I think I may save them for future Fanzines.

Currently DP is hosting Olga the Travelling Bra. I am pleased to say that she arrived 'down Souff' safely and is to enjoy a 'sabbatical' of her own with the phenomenon that is DP

My main concern for her is that DP has recently become Boob (no must be Bob) Bob (no that ain't right it is Boob the Builder I am sure it is?) Boob the Builder.
I do hope he doesn't have her doing labouring for him (remember he once employed child labour so what chance does a bra have???


Daddy Papersurfer said...

Ignoring most of the 'facts' that you have revealed this issue young 70's [and there are some that are scarily near the truth!], I understood that Olga's fate is entirely in the hands of the host......... *evil laugh* and a *titter*.
[BTW - are the other Fanzines still available and how much are they?]

Anonymous said...

Oops! I thought he has started using the teeth set recently because he has grown old. But from the pics it looks like that he lost all his teeth somewhere in 1960s. Oh dear...And TG deserves a standing ovation! Ha! you too 70s ;)

sylvie d said...

great edition 70...each new episode gets me closer to understanding the insanity of the man...thank you, you have done a very very good job. I can't believe Olga is in his hands!!!

Daddy Papersurfer said...

How do you know she is in my 'hands'? - tee hee

fracas said...

I have a certain trepidation as to what shape poor Olga will arrive in SK here after being in the hands of Boob the Builder though. I imagine she'll need a good airing out after the Cliff Richards episode. A bra can only take so much 'wind' without needing to be freshened up.

Honestly... did you notice the dress on that poor girl in range? Darned if he wasn't causing that thing to try jump right off of her. I can only imagine the horrors poor Olga will have to tell.

And did you notice how he has TWO sandals?

70steen said...

DP ~ you know I tell it as it is .... you must admit my research has been thorough!!

Yes Olga is entirely in the hands of her chaperon, and that is what worries me the most lol

The other fanzines are still available but I may auction them to the highest bidder.. currently 99p on ee by gum

70steen said...

Hi Sctatchbags ~ no apparently he has always had a face that only a mother could love. TG does her best she deserves with him we all applaud her

Thank you for your visit :-D

70steen said...

Sylvie ~ when you understand him could you fill me in with the details lol :-)

70steen said...

erm DP!! need you ask ??

70steen said...

Dear Frac. Hi hun :-)
Olga will certainly be in some sisterly tlc by the time she gets over to you ... poor girl.

Yep that girls dress on the photo certainly had some wind behind it ... how one man can can cause such gale force is beyond me.

Yes I did spot 'old 2 sandaled' GOG tsk {{has he still not sent you the other one? You must be hopping mad lol .... oh I am trying to find a glitterball for you :-)}}

Daddy Papersurfer said...

I might need some tips on how to clean bras ........ for a friend you understand ..... de dum de dum de dum de dum.

I wish I had more friends I could show the Fanzine to ...... oh well

70steen said...

A gentle hand wash (OMG what am I saying?) followed by a fast spin cycle, that will perk her up.... NO tumble dryer as it will make her straps go all weird (far to hot for a delicate lady)

Hey ho c'est la vie and all that.. I am sure someone else may pop in eventually :)

Anonymous said...

Petra heard you were planning to bathe with Olga and she had a bit of a fit. Please DP, for Petra's health... remember to bathe Olga separately from the papersufferer parts.

Daddy Papersurfer said...

Thanks for the advice chaps - I was going to put her in the dishwasher .... as she's so dishy an' all ....

70steen said...

OMG! OMG ! dear Frac .... I never even thought about that ,,, I do hope she keeps her hooks out & eyes shut .... I am shuddering at the mental image I have now ..... smelling salts pweease

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

GREAT Issue 70's! Gosh - I didn't know DP was a giant penis clam excavator! That's a very dangerous job ya know.

DONT WORRY about me!...I've hung out with much bigger boobs that Boob the Builder before...

And besides...I think he's kinda sweet on me...and he is sorta cute....oh dear.....

Daddy Papersurfer said...

That bra has hands EVERYWHERE! .... tsk ...... too much cupping and several 'twangs' .......

70steen said...

Olga & DP I see you will get on like a house on fire.... sock it ... oh I mean 'bra' it to him girl lol :-)

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