Interlude ~~~ 'Fantasy or Fact?' ~~~~ Fanzine V

Welcome to Fanzine V....

(wow 5 already! How time flies when you are having.......... fun, I suppose!)

You may have read recently on 'the phenomenon that is DP', that he has allegedly been stalked by his idol Uma Thurman.

I am totally bewildered by this revelation, as I suspect you are too dear readers. Uma stalking DP?? Surely it has always been the reverse?

If this fact is true (& pretty disturbing it would be too), then I feel it only right to point out that he only has himself to blame.

Some of you may not know this fact & I feel as Ed to the Fanzine I have responsibility to pass on all the facts as I receive them.

Many moons ago he set up a cupboard on FuelMyBlog where his quest was to achieve the 'longest thread' once he had found it as he had lost it (something I know you may have already realised!)

During the initial stages of this 'great adventure' he established a secret laboratory, where he was conjuring up some sort of formula.

The formula was to make Uma notice him. Then they would run away together etc etc ........We all thought at the time it was doomed to failure, so we merely humoured him during this quest. Dabbing his fevered brow along the way when required.

I managed to hook up a secret web cam & 70s managed to get some rare stills footage of him in there.


(These images may be disturbing to some readers!)

If his recent experience is to be believed then maybe the GOG is not quite as deranged as we first thought?? & we did see Uma with a DP fanclub handbag recently at the Oscars this year!!!!! So may be, just may be, this is FACT not Fantasy???


He has been back in the laboratory, staying up late (past 21.00 hours) trying to undo this formula.
Unfortunately the web cam is not working properly (there was a slight incident with a bunsen burner which damaged the camera not to mention DP's nostril hair!).

All was not lost, dear readers. DP's lovely secretary was passing the door on her way to having her nails done. She heard the following ghostly words & reported them immediately (she was a bit shaken by this experience and is thinking about her position)..............

DP speaking ~ 'Eye of bass, toe of toad, a little curly hair [ginger], 2oz of sugar and a grated turnip' - a perfect recipe for a fun fuelled night out with 70's. Perhaps I'm a whorelock warlock and it is you that should be affeared!!!!!
[OK, that won't work - back to the drawing board.]'

Again dear Readers is this FACT or FANTASY ?


The mail sacks have been bulging at the seams these past few weeks. Obviously the fame of DP is spreading world wide at a fair rate of knots. Inevitably with such fame comes the begging letters (mostly begging him to take a long vacation where no safety net is available!); the love letters (eeeew... dear readers you really don't want the details) & the amount of underwear that is piling up, I could start my own shop!

I have chosen 2 letters from the bulging sacks, for this Fanzine. I felt that you as his fan club members should have a chance to read both simultaneously to enable you to draw your own conclusions as to their validity! FACT or FANTASY?
I am sure TG will have something to say about them too!

Dear Ms 70's

Sorry, this is a bit embarrassing.

I think that I met Daddy Papersurfer in Ibiza about 35 years ago. It's all a bit vague, what with the sangria and all.

Anyway - I was a lot younger and so was ....... he!
He used to be so good looking in them days. What a fine set of teeth.

I don't know how to say this ........but ....... well, there's a strong possibility that ...... gawd ........no I can't.
I thought I could but even as the sands of time have passed I still can't bring myself to tell the world.

No, forget I said anything ........ really, please!
Must dash (whoosh), all the grand children are staying
[all 12 of 'em - bless every one of 'em - each of the triplets had 4 each, can you believe it!]

I have attached a photo of my children when they were babies. I carry this around in my rucksack every day so it is showing signs of wear. But I hope you can see just how lovely they are?

Regards Milly

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Dear Fanzine Ed
I came across your most wonderful fanzine whilst looking for fan dancing lessons on the interweave.
Since then I have never looked back...... yes I am looking forward with some degree of excitement (which is a bit unfortunate at times as my pelvic floor ain't what it used to be!)
For many years now I have been trying to find members of my family and this is my sad tale.

I got lost on a family trip to the circus over 50 years ago. No one came to claim me so the lovely circus folk brought me up as their own.
I was taught to swallow swords, eat fire (unfortunately this lead to my big smoking habit) and to balance cardboard boxes on my head.

I have had a happy(ish) life despite not knowing what happened to my family.
I married young to a travelling sales man. He used to fondly call me his 'terrible fag ash'.

3 years ago he ran off with the bearded lady from a Romanian circus troop that joined us for our Summer season in Clacton.
I am ok about it now. I fill my time well. Recently I have taken up metal work and can make amazing things from lead (it is getting more difficult as I get older to climb on church roof's to pinch it). I recently had a couple of my pieces of work shown at a carnival in France.
It is just something I have always wanted to do from being a child.

Back to my family search. I know I had two brothers... twins in fact.
I believe that one of my brothers went to live in the land of maple syrup (as we circus folk fondly refer to Canada as).
A friend of mine (Frank the one armed lion tamer. It was a terrible accident. The lion wasn't very well for weeks after) found these images on the interweave. I can see my father's eyes and my mothers moustache in this photo.

Sadly, despite all my letters, Maplesurfer has never replied.

I am almost 100% certain that Daddy Papersurfer & Maple Surfer are my brothers.
Please, please, please publish my letter.... I am hoping above all hope that one or both of them will read this and get in touch.
Attached is a recent photo of me with out my cardboard box. Can anyone see a family resemblance at all?

Thunking you in anticipation

Gertrude Poppersufferer
(address with held by Ed.)

So what you you think dear readers??
FACT or FANTASY ?????