Well winter is fast approaching over here. It isn't too cold just yet but it will be soon I am sure.
In the Jackie annual 1978 it published 50 ways warm up your winter (you know until I started publishing knitting patterns I never realised it had a 'startling' sweater on the cover girl). I am not going to type out the 50 but a selection from the list. It must have been money for old rope writing these things for teenagers then ... mind you my teen reads some utter 'tosh' these days too.......
Oh and these were written when life wasn't so PC as it is today.
Get in with the road mending lads, and they'll let you war your toes on the brazier. (70s ed. Gosh my mum would have gone mental if I had done that!)
Knit a vast scarf big enough to wrap around twp or three people - and share. Queueing for buses can be fun from now on
Sprinkle itching powder in your undies - the scratching, rubbing and jumping about maybe agony, but keeps goose-pimples firmly at bay! (70s ed. and any prospective boyfriend too I would imagine...)
Fall in love with a fur salesman and hint.Always go to social occasion that have been jinxed by bad weather, bus strikes, and anything else likely to cut down the numbers attending- more boys than girls will manage to show up, and you'll have less competition (70s ed. Huh? Lads is this true??)
Make yourself a quilted outfit- but better lose weight first or you'll look like a walking Eiderdown
Be a walking hot water bottle - strap them round your waist, under your arms and inside your little woolly hat (70s ed. & just how much weight would you have to lose to look good in this little number)Grow an extra layer of fat to keep you warm (and don't write to us complaining about it come Spring) (70 ed. Gawd no wonder teenagers get confused!)
Plaster your walls with holiday brochures, put on your bikini and use your imagination 70s ed. WT....??)
Go on, buy that Afghan Lamb coat: it'll probably smell so bad you will have to keep it in the garden shed but it's warm.
Give up surfing!
Knit knit yourself a toe-length Balaclava helmet (70s ed. ??? saying nubbin')
Wrap yourself in a sheepskin coat and bleat at the snowman (70s ed. This could be kinda hazzardous in certain rural areas!!)
Find some who fat to cuddle who isn't a fresh air freak.
Marry an Arab!
14 comments:
those hints are unbelievable! itching powder in your undies???
Fantastic!!! - I actually now want a toe-length Balaclava helmet - I'd look sooooooo cool, the ultimate hoody.
[Notice I've made no mention of euphanmisms at all - tee hee]
Fall in love with a fur salesman and hint.
Would that be the elusive Norwegian Mouse Fur Salesman?
Hopefully not a BEAR FUR saleman!!!! ACK!!!!!
NM ~ I know!!! The itching powder just sounds like a boy prank thing... I reckon they all sat in a room thinking up the most bizarre things possible .. funny though. They would have loved blogging I am sure if it was around in the 70s
[very refrained DP....lol]
I shall get the needles out ......
BB I sincerely hope it is not a bear fur salesman.. SnOwY is quaking in his pink satin shoes.....
I know what a mouse is in Norway!!!!!!!!!! - tee hee
mmm are you going to share?
Does BB know as well?
I used to have an Afghan coat. I only wore it a couple of times because it was so smelly....
I hate being cold but even I'd draw the line at some of these!
Hi Diane ... I really didn't know they smelt ... I was wondering why the handy hint said that?
What? No showering together to conserve water, heat, and energy...oh...so much for the energy conserved. But cleanliness is next to...I got so excited I forgot what I was thinking! :)
I don't think they would have been allowed to put that in a teen mag then ... doubt the same rules apply now ......
so how was your cold shower ? ;-)
Graphic mental picture necessary? :)
Post a Comment